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Moving Through Conflict to a Future of Belonging
November 20, 2024
“What are they thinking?!” “How can we move forward?” “Victory at last!” Most of us have had similar thoughts during moments of conflict. We want things to go “our way” or for the problem to disappear entirely. Victory seems like the only answer. But what if “victory” only deepens the cycle of conflict?
There are three main ways to approach conflict:
- Avoid it—shrinking our potential to build together.
- Compete for control—shifting the balance without resolving underlying issues, creating constant tension.
- Collaborate through conflict—expanding what we can create together.
Amid today’s conflicts, we must decide: continue with old patterns of competition, using contempt, shame, and blame to try to “win”, or move toward a future of belonging?
Belonging is the community we’ve dreamed of for centuries, where every voice is seen, heard, and valued. But we must move forward through conflict and step out of our learned patterns of conflict to move there. Belonging:
- Allows space to understand others’ needs.
- Provides time to create solutions that work for all.
- Urges us to change ingrained habits for a new possible future.
- Encourages learning from each other as humans.
The question can shift from “How do I get what I need?” to “What can we create together?” This shift acknowledges that our emotions, and those of others, arise from caring about the future. By understanding why others act on their care differently, we can begin to move through conflict. Practicing “bridging”—connecting across differences—is the path out of endless cycles of discord.
Through the Bridging to Belonging program, we are building habits of belonging. We seek each day to practice the habits of belonging and invite you to join us as we learn to navigate conflict and create a new future of belonging in metropolitan Detroit.
Rachel Cannon, Bridging to Belonging Co-Chair; Consultant – Vitality Source LLC
